Step-by-Step Surrogacy Timeline: What to Expect At Each Stage
Key Takeaways From This Article
- What the surrogacy process looks like from start to finish, including planning, matching, pregnancy, and birth.
- How intended parents can prepare for the financial realities of surrogacy, from loans and grants to payment planning.
- The role surrogacy agencies, fertility clinics, and care coordinators play in supporting families throughout the journey.
- What to expect emotionally, medically, and logistically during a surrogacy journey so you can plan with more confidence.
On your journey to parenthood via surrogacy, it’s natural to have a lot of questions about all of the logistics involved: How long does surrogacy take? What does surrogacy cost? Is this something we can take out a loan for? How much can the parent or parents be involved in the pregnancy and birth process, and who helps with navigating that? If you’re exploring surrogacy as part of your parenting journey, there are a lot of different factors to consider, and we’ve got your back along the way so you know what to expect.
Sunfish is your concierge companion in managing the financial cost of surrogacy, plus the logistical and emotional aspects of going through surrogacy so you have the support system you need (we get it, paperwork piles up, appointments get stacked in the calendar, and it can be overwhelming to know what comes next). To help you prepare and get your questions answered, we’re breaking down the surrogacy process step by step.
Here’s a better understanding of a typical surrogacy timeline so you can start to plan what that might look like in your life and family:
Exploration & Planning
The first step of the surrogacy process is likely the one you’re in now: It’s all about exploration and planning. Is surrogacy even the best plan for you? A consultation with a fertility specialist might help answer that. Or, you might be further along in the planning process and ready to start making decisions.
Though some people go the independent route to connect with a gestational surrogate they know personally, many people work through an agency to connect with a surrogate who has been medically, legally, and socially vetted to partner with you through this process. That’s where we come in to help narrow your options of agencies, which can be time consuming and emotionally exhausting to wade through, to find the one that works best for your family. Expect this search to take between one and six months. Luckily, you don’t have to move through this exploration phase alone, and our Sunfish care coordinators, based on our partnerships with trusted surrogacy agencies, can support you in navigating phase one.
Financial Planning & Decision-Making
If you’re at the point where you’re ready to move to the second stage of financial planning and decision-making, congrats on taking that next step in your path to parenthood. And if crunching the numbers in your bank account in anticipation of the bills you’re going to be receiving is giving you a headache, we’re with you. A surrogacy journey can come with some sticker shock around all-in cost, but you won’t be left by yourself to figure these financial logistics out.
With Sunfish, you have an extra set of hands guiding you along the way during the surrogacy process. Loans are one way we can connect you with manageable ways to handle your surrogacy costs. There are also fertility grants you can apply for that you may not have realized. Plus, there are seamless payment options you can take advantage of, like splitting payments across multiple payment methods, and payment in installments so it all feels more doable. You’ll find everything you might need to reference at our financial hub.
Matching & Coordination
Matching with a surrogate can be the most anxiety-inducing, yet exciting phase of the surrogacy process: How do you choose the right gestational surrogate for your future baby? We’ll help you get formally connected to a surrogacy agency, which can help you narrow down the pool of gestational surrogates based on your own personal and family values, your desired communication style, and your preferred involvement in the medical appointments throughout the process. Again, it’s natural for this process to take a few months in order to match you with someone who is available, clicks with you, and has been cleared to carry the pregnancy.
Building a solid rapport with your surrogate is essential since you'll be with each other throughout this emotional and meaningful path to parenthood. Many agencies recommend regular communication, often weekly check-ins, to maintain that important connection.
Medical & Legal Preparation
In the medical and legal preparation phase, we’re here for you with access to low-interest loans to cover the legal fees, which will be essential to securing a Gestational Carrier Agreement establishing your parental rights and the surrogate’s compensation and rights. (Your agency, one of our trusted, vetted partners, will be your main point of contact as you wade through these legal documents.)
Meanwhile, there is the medical preparation phase: We can make sure your surrogate is paired with the right fertility clinic in their area to get a jump-start on the pre-IVF medical and psychological testing to ensure it’s safe to carry the pregnancy. The intended parents (that’s you!) will also need to undergo blood testing and the same kind of testing with a mental health professional to confirm that you’re mentally, emotionally, and socially ready to become a parent. Our care coordinators are there for any questions that come up every step of the way.
Pregnancy & Ongoing Support
Now, it’s starting to get real: Once the IVF process starts, nerves can run high as you approach the two-week wait (where the intended parents and surrogate anticipate a hopefully successful embryo transfer resulting in a healthy, viable pregnancy). After that waiting period, the intended parents may be involved in certain milestone appointments, like the first ultrasound at 6 weeks or the 20-week anatomy scan.
Birth & Beyond
And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for…the birth of the long-awaited new member of your family. We’re still there for you as a trusted planning partner even as the birth approaches. You’ll likely need some logistical support as you make travel arrangements for the birth (it typically takes place where the gestational surrogate lives and has their medical care already established).
When it comes to the big day, part of the birth plan will be predictable and in your control, as you’ll secure that in advance with a legal agreement, which will also ensure your access to the delivery room. Post-birth, you’ll have ample time in the hospital or birthing center to bond with the baby and surrogate before you head home as a family.
There are more steps to becoming a parent via surrogacy than becoming a parent in some other ways, but so many families who have used surrogates to expand their families will share that they are grateful to have been part of this complex, yet meaningful and rewarding experience.
