How to Support Your Mental Health During the Two-Week Wait

The two-week wait is infamous among anyone who’s gone through IVF. Those 14 days between your embryo transfer and seeing the results pop up on a pregnancy test can be some of the longest of your life. If you’re going through it right now, or know you have an IVF cycle coming up, it’s absolutely normal for each 24 hours to feel like 24 days.

Though it can be taxing on your mental health, especially if this is not your first go-around with fertility treatment, there is a reason why the two-week wait exists. Of course it would be ideal to find out whether you’re pregnant and on the way to growing your family as soon as you wrap up your embryo transfer, but it doesn’t work that way. Reproductive Endocrinologist and Sunfish Medical Advisor Dr. Arian Khorshid suggests sitting tight as much as possible during this period of time, and resisting the urge to ‘test early.’ He shares: “Doing the pregnancy test too soon is likely to give false results - either because of the trigger shot or because the embryo has not implanted yet."

Just because there are medical justifications for the two-week waiting period doesn’t make it any easier to go through. Here, we share some of our best strategies for supporting your mental health throughout the 14 days.

What are the most common emotions experienced during the two-week wait?

No one’s IVF journey is exactly the same, and fertility treatments in general feel like a roller  coaster. You may even have a mix of feelings as you navigate waiting to see if the embryo transfer results are what you’re hoping for. If you’re hoping to be pregnant and feeling any of the following, you’re definitely not alone. Patients commonly report these emotions:

• Anxiety: Some people experience heightened anxiety, because there is nothing left to do that’s in your control besides wait. You may find yourself symptom-searching online, taking early at-home pregnancy tests, or getting distracted at work or during your other daily responsibilities.
• Isolation: You may feel that no one really understands what you’re going for, especially if family members and friends have not gone through IVF, so it’s common to want to withdraw from socializing and gathering during this period.
• Cautious optimism: That feeling of “waiting for the other shoe to drop” is all too real, particularly if you’ve experienced pregnancy loss and related disappointment before. Some people try to guard themselves from the feeling of heartbreak in advance, but that’s not always possible to do.
• Impatience: Every day might feel even longer than it is because you’re focused on the “what if” and counting down the days until you can take an accurate test; whereas other two-week spans might fly by.
• Hypervigilance: You might find yourself obsessively monitoring every symptom for a sign of pregnancy. “Did I just feel a little nauseous?” Or, “Is that my period starting?” You would not be the first to feel this way. Again, practicing accepting what’s out of your control is going to be key here (more on that in a bit).
• Guilt or self-blame: Along with the feeling of hypervigilance, you may be hyper-aware of every movement or health choice you make, in hopes of not “jinxing” the successful implantation of the embryo. Doctors say that there is not anything to worry about, and you should stick to your normal routine as much as possible. Dr. Khorshid says "For the most part, you can continue your typical daily routines during the 2 week wait. Your clinic may give you some specific guidance on activities to avoid, but in general do what you would feel comfortable doing during pregnancy and don't do anything you wouldn't do while pregnant.”
• Ambivalence: Some IVF patients may go back and forth between feeling hope and excitement and negative thoughts, which they may view as preparing themselves for disappointment. It’s okay to feel all the things.
• Emotional exhaustion: An egg retrieval, followed by an embryo transfer and two-week wait is a physically exhausting process; it’s also typical for patients to feel mentally and emotionally exhausted, too. You’ve likely already been through months of scheduling appointments, taking tests, being poked and prodded, and cobbling together all the financial information in order to cover your IVF journey.

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How to Get More Emotional Support and Work on Your Mental Health During the Two-Week Wait

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1. Schedule some “fertility anxiety” time.

You likely won’t be able to cut off your brain from worrying entirely. That’s near impossible. Instead, let yourself feel your emotions, and notice which thoughts come up most. Are they about your physical symptoms, or planning for the disappointment you fear that you’ll face at the end of this IVF cycle? Designate 15 minutes per day to jot every thought you’re having down on paper. And then, put your journal away. Another approach, beyond scheduling your worry time, is to schedule something fun or rewarding to look forward to during that period. Think pre-booking your favorite art or pottery class, or having friends on standby to take you out to brunch if you’re up for it.

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2. Have meetings with a therapist already planned.

If you don’t already work with a therapist or other mental health counselor, now is a good time to start—there is so much stress and mental energy involved in the fertility treatment process. Since you’ll know ahead of time when your IVF cycle and all parts of it, including the trigger shot, egg retrieval, and embryo transfer, will be, it’s a good idea to have mental health appointments scheduled during those check-ins so that you have a safe space to process all that’s happened and your emotional reactions to it with a professional.

Sunfish’s concierge care team can help you connect with the right mental health practitioner for you, at an affordable rate.

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3. Practice tactics to help you relax your body.

Especially if you’re feeling a lot of bodily hypervigilance, questioning whether or not the embryo successfully implanted, doing some exercises that help your body work through anxiety can be helpful. Scheduling in gentle workout classes, like pilates or yoga, during this 14-day period, can be great if you feel up to that movement. You can even practice meditation and relaxation at home. Search for “progressive muscle relaxation” meditations on YouTube to help your body release tension one step at a time. This can be extra helpful to assist you in relaxing if ruminating about your embryo transfer is keeping you awake at night.

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4. Consider couples’ therapy.

For anyone going through IVF with a partner, it is completely normal for fertility treatment to put strain on your relationship. You may notice that your partner avoids talking about their anxiety around IVF, while you want to constantly get it out in the open, or vice versa. Even just a few sessions of therapy with your partner can help you prepare and cope with the two-week wait process. You have space, and a mediator, to discuss how much you want to communicate about IVF, what kind of support is most helpful for both of you, and collaborate in managing any anticipatory grief that comes up.

Check in with your care coordinator for recommendations, if you need a referral for couples’ therapy services.

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5. Lean on all of your support systems.

Perhaps you have had family members or friends who have gone through IVF before. If that’s the case (and even if it isn’t), try to let your loved ones in as much as possible, while respecting your own personal boundaries, of course. Making a coffee date to reconnect with your high school friend who had an IVF baby last year can be a great way to spend some two-week wait time and talk about what you’re going through. If you feel like those support systems are lacking, there are tons of digital fertility support groups, including on social media, which may even be local to your area and have meetups. Pro tip: Look into one of RESOLVE’s support groups to find the right community resource near you!

Sunfish is another support system you can count on. Any time you’re feeling overwhelmed by the process of IVF or need help managing your hectic calendar, your care coordinator is there for the personalized support and wrap-around guidance you need. And no, we won’t just send a bot to chat with you. This is a human-centered fertility guide that is there for you every step of the way. The Sunfish team can also help you arrange loans, multiple payment methods, and apply for grants to more predictably manage the financial responsibilities of IVF, and all the stressors that come with it. All of that factors into coping with parts of the fertility treatment process, like the dreaded two-week wait.

Learn more about how the Sunfish team supports families all along the fertility journey with personalized advice, care, and logistical support.

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